Corelli – album record!

Corelli – album record!.

Something About Handling Guns

That was a really nice house. All so shiny and light, all about beige and white and sunny, high ceilings, big rooms, some very compact and nice furniture… Just a perfect place for living!

Actually the whole place was crowded. It was hard to tell which of this people lived here and which were just guests or whoever. For a while I was just exploring and trying to figure out what’s up. First I thought I was invited to some party or celebration, but then I noticed there were no specific signs of anything going on. Yes, it was just a huge house filled with people right to the last floor, right to the brim.

Perhaps I had a job here? No, that didn’t seem a truth also. The servants and waiters were all busy and I didn’t even seem to be dressed the same way. Oh! I wore a long white dress, it felt silky to the touch and most delightful in all. Definitely I felt happy with it.

So what am I doing here?

I went out onto the front porch and into the fresh morning sunlight. The air was clean and brought me the odours of a pine forest, of the mountains far away, of the rain-washed meadows… The sky was so high and the rare white clouds moved so miraculously I knew at the moment that it’s the perfect place in the entire world…

And then all of a sudden I realized I’m the mistress and the landlady. Strange feeling really. And what it does to me? Turns me into something majestic, someone who contains perfection and power and beauty and everything… Or that’s just the way this day tastes. Maybe, who knows.

I was back in the house once more. It changed somehow. Actually it had another block linked by a glass corridor with the main building. It was a very quiet and peaceful place, no noise, no loud talking, none of that buzz and move here. Surprisingly it was a hospital or some rehabilitation centre. At first I felt rather odd and surprised at the fact. Never thought I would have such a thing in my own house! But I did. Besides it was like I’m the chief of the place…

In some time I got to somewhere far outside the perimeter of the house and the centre. I was in the wastelands beyond the pine tree forest and right before the blue mountains. There were abandoned buildings scattered all around miles around. All of them seemed ruined or seriously damaged by some cataclysm or something. Me and some other people were hunting this buildings for other people and things. Mostly for survivors I guess.

The inside of one of the buildings was a real mess. The once white walls were traced with corrosion and water and looked real scary, the staircases had no railings and were also in an awful condition. Somewhere deep inside, in one of the inner rooms we found several people having all the marks of some viral intoxication… They were all in a miserable condition, most of them couldn’t walk or even sit, they just crawled over the floor vomiting and suffering fierce convulsions. But the worst thing about those people was we couldn’t help them, nothing worked properly and so we had nothing to do, but put them out of their misery. Very soon all of them were shot through the head and the floor was covered with fresh human blood…

I woke up next morning in another realm. The only thing I knew for sure was that we all deal with some diversion and there are some weird bastards among usual people that look exactly like people, but aren’t. I wore some white uniform and had to get in less than no time to the armory in order to get my gun and something else. As a ran there through several warehouses and barracks I crossed huge yards fenced with wire fences… It was raining hard. Probably it was just the beginning of summer, the grass looked very fresh and the air smelt like bliss even though there was that scary and nervous tension in everything.

I never knew where am I supposed to run and whom are we supposed to track down and shoot , but I knew that it all felt real dangerous and global like it happened in several countries around the world. And this was the point that brought my adrenaline to the very high degree.

I got my gun and ran with the others to some checkpoint and, oh my god, just here I suddenly got it! The weapon must be activated with some key I was given and then checked through the scanners so that I could come over it and gt to the airplane. Holy crap! I had no idea how to activate the damn thing I held in my hands. I tried several ways applying the kay here and there, but it still didn’t work. Time ran short. There was the commander wailing something somewhere behind my back so I knew for sure I really don’t have enough time for digging.

The gun still locked. Me still here… I felt like I was a complete idiot, because the other soldiers passed the checkpoint quick and fast and in no time. Seemed like I was the only fool here. Even the other female soldiers passed successfully, not me…

I got nervous. The commanders voice got closer and closer. Damn it! Just as I was about to burst in tears or slam the heavy weighted machine gun on something I felt a slight touch on my shoulder. I turned my head around. It was a tall brawny short-haired marine, and he was a head or more taller than me. He was so close to me between the damn scanners I couldn’t turn around, so he just bent over me and stretched his arms for the gun I was holding before me. Kinda from-the-back-embrace it was actually. As he was unlocking and activating my miserable gun I calmed down so fast it almost seemed unreal. I felt his breath on my neck, mighty arms around me, the warmth of his chest just close to my back. It felt like comfort. All that I could say after some seconds was ‘Hmm… Thank you. Was it so easy?’. And he was just like smiling there and said something like ‘Are you ok?’

And I really felt ok at the moment just because he was there… I just relaxed and he embraced me so that I could feel him press himself to me… The shivers down the spine, the winding up heartbeat, the sweetest condition entirely… We passed through the checkpoint and just went ahead together, his arm around my waist. Now I was safe and it was not because the heavy weaponry I carried in my right hand, but just because I was.

‘We gonna kill?’, I asked.

‘What do you think you’re gonna do with that thing in your hand?’, he answered.

‘How do I know I kill the right thing?’, I asked as we both prowled towards an old ruined house some twenty yards ahead. ‘There’s no way to know. They are just there and they don’t wear the uniform’, he said.

That seemed to clear up the mess in my head, yet I remained somewhat unsure of what’s happening and how am I supposed to act.

‘Just shoot’, he added. ‘If you don’t, you’re dead for sure’.

We were inside the building by this time just checking around and keeping an eye on everything. The whole place seemed clean, at least there was no sign of movement or danger. We creeped in deeper and deeper and as we left the sunlight behind our backs we drew into more and more darkness inside. It was scary, yet felt ok at least at the moment.

Suddenly there was an automatic fire and that special damn feeling of inner tremor the next moment. We started. The crashing lime crashed on us from above, obviously the shooter aimed at our heads and we were just in time to fall down safe.

‘Shhh…’, that was my marine’s voice close at my ear.

It seemed like a whole eternity passed before something occurred next. There was that tiny sound first and then it appeared to be a childs voice somewhere there, deeper in the house. My heart pumped fiercely. The man grasped my arm so that I wouldn’t move. The crying got louder and louder and then some pebbles crackled on the right. Gunfire started again. This time the marine did it. A round answered on us. Bullets whizzed into the walls. And then it was over. The marine swore loudly and at the same time a man cried ahead. We ran there. A dead body on the floor, a pool of blood, headshot actually. The marine was wounded in the shoulder… And then suddenly the body on the floor started to change shape. It wasn’t a man anymore! It was turning into a little girl about 7 y.o.

‘Hey! We killed a child!’, I was astonished and rushed towards the body.

‘Leave it. It’s dead’

‘No! Damn it! We were wrong! Look! Don’t you see, man?’

‘See what?’

‘She’s only a girl!’, I was terrified at what happened.

‘I don’t see any girl here, but you’

‘Are you mad or what?! See! Here she is, on the floor in that pool of blood, brains out!’

The marine watched me in the eye carefully and said nothing.

‘You… you don’t see her, do you?’, I pleaded.

‘Nope. We leave now’, he grasped me and pulled me away somewhere out of the place. After we got into the open air once more I could see his wound. His shoulder bled, so I helped him with some bandage made from a torn sleeve. He had a deep tan and the smell of his bare skin just turned me on like I went drunk…

…And then his hands were on my hips, and my breath and heartbeat wound up like hell as I almost dissolved in his hot embrace like I was dipped into an ocean. And all the touches and slips and him all over me was just like pure bliss that turned into ecstasy when I felt him inside. And nothing mattered anymore, because life itself was alive again and at this point I had no more questions or hesitations or fears or anything that could restrain  me of letting him deeper into me…

The Blood Lady

I had that uneasy feeling of being packed into something that didn’t really fit me well. Itching on the back, something getting under my feet as I ran. Yes, I had to run, to run without an obvious reason or motive just because it felt like running and finding things I’ve never seen before.

Tall ceilings… Endless rows of wardrobes, tons of furniture all covering the walls, mirrors here and there. Everything somewhat too big and with a touch of grotesque. The whole place looked rather like a huge warehouse, definitely not a home or something. Garments and shoes scattered all over the place, drawers open, necklaces and earrings rustled under my feet as a slowed down to a tiptoe. People never minded me.

A weird man stared somewhere through me and then said suddenly ‘I’m your dad, bitch!’, and tried to seize my hand. But I was nimble and so he didn’t. ‘You ok? Get that crap off yourself’, he added impatiently. I looked back at him. He was so pathetic I said nothing and just dashed away.

A strange woman with a constantly changing face hurried around and was bending over a huge chest. ‘You know me?’, she asked as she pulled out some child dress and gave it to me. Supposedly she thought she was my mother. But she wasn’t…

I caught my reflection in a glass door. I was dressed in a long red Dress, the color of fresh blood, and I also had heels of the same tint. The zip on my back itched, the gown cut came straight from the hip… It was me in the mirror and not me at the same time. Definitely the mirror lied, cuz I just couldn’t look that older. And sure I wasn’t. A brief glance at my skin told me that…

And then was the run again. Sunshiny streets, people around, traffic, flares, everything so joyful, hysterical spring or early summer. I knew I was odd running on high-heels in that totally Cannes-carpet-path outfit of mine, yet I ran for no reason again. I just knew I had to, and so I did even though I might easily break my feet or neck doing so. Suddenly I realized that the zip on my back was off and several people see that plainly. I tried to fix my dress, but it didn’t work actually. I slowed down again, cuz I’d lose my garments if I didn’t.

I went to a school some way ahead. It seemed like I had some deal there or someone was waiting for me. Anyway… there was something important inside that must have been checked out. As I slipped into the doors I felt even more awkward in my red outfit among the children in the lobby. The lobby was huge and filled with light and sun flares, something ginger and yellow and white in score colors. Children running and playing and hopping and feeling real happy… The two security guys played cards at their checkpoint near the wide white staircase.

I walked them slowly by and suddenly realized that my going from the hip dress cut was just on the side the men were and besides, the cut came even from my right butt and, oh gosh, I had no panties on… I felt them peep in and blushed, but still walked forward.

‘Queen…’, said one of the guys when I was almost away ascending the first steps of the broad marble staircase. I turned my head, the guy smiled, the other nodded at something in an understanding manner and I felt their eyes drilling my bare back and butt all the way up…

Was there an elevator? Never seen one…

What am I really doing here? Nobody asked me or tried to stop me…

Children continued to flash by, but when I got to the next floor I noticed that they’re not that positive and cute as before. Suddenly it was rather silent around and one of these little ones seized my hand and bit me painfully. He had sharp teeth and so I could feel very well my blood pulsing out. I dashed back, but he wouldn’t give in. The boy had cold skin and he had adult eyes. I slit his little throat with my fingernails just in one move and threw him back. My blood was the same color as my Dress. I took a look around. Several other boys were there, some smiled, and I could clearly see their sharp tiny teeth that looked hideously like they were slightly out of the human kind.

It totally appeared to be a death fight. I knew that, they knew that, I could read it through their eyes and hungry movements. Another boy went down the stairs after he attempted to bite my naked hip, but got his eyes torn out with my fingers. He broke his neck as he tumbled and crushed his skull over the white marble or whatever it was. Another three boys attacked me and I almost stumbled myself, but was in time to stretch out my hands and grasp the railing. For a few moments I was down on my knees and hands, almost on all four, but it was quite enough for them to strive for my breasts. I rolled aside just in time.

As I reached the next floor upstairs I saw a screwdriver falling from somewhere right to my feet. I had a couple of seconds to sharpen it up a little on the stone floor. Fortunately it was a long and sharp one… In less than a minute  four or five angry children were thrown downstairs, throats cut, necks broken, everything spattered with fresh blood. I wasn’t about killing more, I was about running away, but it seemed like there was an endless crowd just waiting for me and an endless staircase upward. The security guards would never come. Damn it! I knew that too well!

Someone tore my dress off leaving me naked and fully exposed just before the eyes of a hundred crazy first graders. I fell and fainted…

I opened my eyes to a great big enamelled cold white room and could do nothing for a while, but just stare into the extremely high ceiling. It felt wet under me like there was some water or something running. Actually I was lying in a wide long sink deep enough for me to see sideways and figure out the rest of the floor. I felt sick in my stomach and throat, my head was dizzy, my mouth dry, my breasts ached like hell and all the feelings were tensing in some pulsing manner fading and filling my body again and again. I attempted to rise on my elbows and at the first time just slipped onto my back again hitting the enamelled bottom with my nape. The second try was successful though…

Oh god! The moment I saw my body I nearly vomited. It was torn and twisted, disproportional, weird, covered with blood and some unknown vital juices. I looked like I was a human being very tentatively, like I mutated by some means and most part of me became an ugly alien monster or animal. One leg five feet long, the other torn away, my pelvis wide extended like there was an explosion inside, my stomach cut and bloody, the lower rib cage bones visible for lack of skin and flesh through a broad wound. Some liquid leaked from my nipples and it was mixed with blood too… Damn it! There was a river of my blood going straight down this weird enamelled canal! Seems I vomited during my swoon… I reached my left hand to my aching crotch to figure out the hotbed of pain. It was there, inside and almost on the surface. I felt something there, something warm and firm. The moment I reached there and took a touch I suddenly started pulsing like in convulsion… After four really killing spasms something went out of me.

It was a skull barely covered with skin, it was too big and it was all in blood. It rolled down the canal, seethed in a pool of water and cracked. Actually it melted into vapor and ash or something. Before I could even collect my thoughts the contractions returned causing me a new painful snatches through my body…

I was wrecked and almost dead. I continued to lose blood and deliver that heads into the canal. They went one after another, ugly hideous, alien, dead and yet every next one seemed more and more consummate. After a dozen heads went out there came the heads with small embryonic torsos. Disproportional however, yet more and more human to the eye.

Now the birth happened with every spasm of my body. I was scared to death on thinking what the hell my inside happened to contain!

After a whole eternity passed there crawled out girls… First they had no feet or only half of the body or handless or headless they came, but they were adult, like teenage, not like newborn. And they were half of my size. They died slowlier than the first skulls, they struggled for life, tried to climb over the side of the canal.

But couldn’t.

The first six girls with two hands and two feet choked, they couldn’t breathe, because their lips hadn’t had the aperture. The seventh tore her mouth with her trembling fingers and screeched so loud I cried in return. My heart bounced fiercely, I almost choked in my own blood, but watched her. I couldn’t lift my body and catch up with her. It seemed she was scared and did all she could to climb out of this death pool. She screeched and wept and her voice rang in my ears. And then she was silent… She slowly slipped down again and I could see her belly torn apart. Too much tension, perhaps…

The following nine or ten girls messed down the canal, but were alive. And only the last one could crawl away, breathing heavily… I was so frightened and so crazy, so happy I was still alive and so terrified by what I was through I trembled entirely and scarcely could move a limb. I couldn’t lose my last baby though and the horror of this loss made me pull my weird body after her. Damn it! She needed to be here, in my arms! I need to feed her!

Seems like I went mad… Were I? After such a quantity of death births it was no miracle…

I somehow pulled myself upwards and got onto my feet. I still suffered the spasms that seemed like something as common as a heartbeat by now. I got used to them.

I dragged my feet into dark corridors and passages through an enormous maze in some basement. The gas and water tubes covered the walls and low ceilings, metal ladders appeared here and there… The crackling wires looked like some fantastic long snakes running with me to somewhere by my side. And then I was in a small yard behind an old house. I had a stone fence behind my back with tall iron rods between the half-crashed pillars. The house wall was broken in several places like it survived multiple bomb attacks and gunfire.

There were men there in the yard, four in all, militaries, fully armed, wearing casques and holding their machine guns. Two of them sat on a wooden bench, the other two stood around. Everyone chatted. But I couldn’t identify the language. One man tried to play an almost crumbling acoustic guitar that had only one string and shouted some kind of song, the other guy knocked the rhythm with his gun on the wooden bench. Men were either drunk, either mad, either just from a battlefield, their uniform dusty and messed up.

They didn’t pay any attention to my arrival …

It felt like I suddenly fell into some asylum, like my brain stopped, like my hopes crashed regarding those armed men here that never cared about me. I sat down on the bench between the two of those weird rockstars. Still not a glance at me. A cry choked in my throat and that very moment I heard the low pulse of something behind the front door. It went exactly in the rhythm of my heart louder and louder until it was so close it made the glass part of the door shiver and tremble. The glass burst finally.

The guys still didn’t care…

And then a fifth guy appeared. I noticed him towering right above me as I still sat on the bench. He was about three meters high or even more, his mouth was torn, crooked teeth to be seen plainly, one hand longer than the other, big ears and short haircut. He was a military too… Perhaps I got wet, perhaps it was just the blood there still dripping out of me. I couldn’t move, I almost choked, my breath almost stopped, my head went dizzy, yet I didn’t faint. I couldn’t faint because I felt the strong scent of his sweat so strong I got almost drunk with it.

The pulse flew the door open. Some fragments of flesh and skin flew out of the doorway and hit the wall every second like it was some deadly clockwork…

The tall guy started screwing nails into my head. Perhaps it was one single nail, but it felt so painful to my skull that it was like a dozen at once! The blood started over my face, warm and with a salty-sweet deep taste. I wiped it off my eyes with my palms and there it was leaking from my fingers to my knees.

It was my baby coming with the pulse, I recognized my girl, my poor child… Her face regenerated every one or two seconds and after that it flew off like a spit or something, the flesh and skin and blood and lips flying off her facial bones like a rag. The eyes remained though. They were of a shiny steel color and watched the man above me with fury and deadly rage. She embraced him from his back with her pale hands all spattered with dark blood and I just saw his ribcage crack, the bones piercing his skin from the inside and through his uniform…

Even though she was scary as hell, she was my child and she was beautiful and lovely to me at the same time. I wanted to nestle her, to fold her to my breasts…

She saved my life and she vanished…

And the panic was back. Once more I was running through the endless tunnels. This time they were all full of soldiers marching somewhere deeper and deeper into the earth. Frenchmen, Japanese, Koreans and Spaniards perhaps… The Frenchmen didn’t want to hear me, the Koreans and Japanese were totally dumb and made believe they didn’t even see me. I almost cried! No… I realized I was weeping all the time, sobbing and tears were running down my cheeks, washing the drying blood away from my face. It was pure hysteria…

After dozens of corridors were left behind I heard familiar speech somewhere ahead. It was English rather American and it felt native. It felt like home. I ran after those guys through the dark. In fact I would give anything to get out of this place or just meet a single normal guy among this asylum! I almost caught the men just as they were about to descend in a big rusty elevator. The doors were still open, about a dozen guys were smoking and chatting. I asked them for some smokes, they all looked at me and then suddenly burst in a laugh. I watched their feet. My god! All of their feet were accreted!!! The elevator almost fell down…

Actually I didn’t find any way out… I was back there in the corridors, in the huge metal halls watching numerous troops pass my by… Thousands of armed strong men, most of them having some horrible face defects, but some yet looking quite normal; all of them went away into the depths of earth. All of these wide shouldered, sweaty, brawny guys talking and cheering and singing and marching on and obeying orders and clanging their weapons… and none of them would stop beside me.

I followed another file of soldiers. I headed to nowhere… At least it seemed somewhat safer among them.

Suddenly I felt sick again like there was another fit happening once more. I fell to the stone floor, almost choked and the foam started from my lips. The contractions were back. The two soldiers on both sides of me stopped and watched my birth pain. I cried out loud and pushed in my labor once and once more. And there came the child. He was completely normal…

I was just in time to seize him right before the men could take hold of him. I embraced the boy and strived violently to my feet. Stumbled, fell, but rose up again.

Just in time. They rushed towards the child, but fortunately I grasped a knife from the belt of the closest guy and then slit their throats one after another. The blood rushed onto my face and breasts and hands…

I was almost blinded, but the moment I opened my eyes again I could see my boy safe in my arms and feel his heartbeat. And I was happy at last.

Stolen Socks

We are all kinda mad here, all somewhat disordered, upset and fundamentally unguarded whilst driven into the desperate condition of self-centered freedom and unlimited exhibition of  our insides.

So it was this time.

I was given the pleasure to be a queer-looking fashion star in an absurd party that no-one really was going to enjoy. Several faces popped out from here and there on the stare cases, in the large apartments, in every room, toilet, bathroom, kitchen… Odd faces, drunken faces, unready faces, distorted make-up, men’s sweat,  dim lights, no music, no dancing people, no-one laughing.

Yet it was a party.

Everyone was striving to do what they wanted. No-one gave a damn about how do they look like or what do their actions appear to be. A girl ate like a swine and never wiped the sauce  from her lips and chin, four or five men stood smoking their long thick cigars in a narrow doorway, from time to time one of them experienced a good solid spit at the floor, a drunken mature woman tried to zip her stretch jeans properly right in front of several people licking wine from the carpet.

As I sat on a huge bed and tried to find at least one adequate face in this freak parade I noticed two young women sitting opposite, one of them attempted to pull off one of my socks. The next moment I noticed that the other one has already stolen the other sock and mocked at it feeding it with sushi. I jumped up in astonishment and suddenly discovered a cop in black uniform in the crowd that stared at me like I was an idol. My glance slid over him to discover that he masturbated fiercely and was about to cum…

‘And now it’s time to celebrate the everlasting power of insolence!’, someone said.

Everyone cheered… Lights flushed, music pumped the whole place, the walls shivered, I’ve lost my second sock (that damn girl stole it finally), barefooted I hopped through the astoundingly awkward people. I couldn’t just walk or run because that was too usual and inapplicable to the circumstances.

It was night and day at the same time. The stars and the moon in the sky told me that it was night, but the sunlight around me exclaimed the opposite. The streets were surreal and unbelievably beautiful, cars were all neat and bright clean, the roads creeped away from my sight like endless snakes into a wonderful mist of azure and milk white. The air felt crystal and ideal though somewhat thin…

‘…we just can’t erase the nature of our greasy embraces, because…’, said a man in a car as I passed by.

I couldn’t hear what was the whole phrase like, so I went straight over the road ignoring the traffic. A trailer hit me, but drove through me, I could feel the heat of it’s engine as it flew through my heart and lungs. A car like a Toyota came from the left and it’s bumper penetrated through my ankles. Yet it drove through without disturbing me.

As I reached the sidewalk I stumbled over two cops armed with rubber clubs and handguns. Without saying a word they seized me, grasped my wrists and waist so that I was immediately immobilized. The next moment I felt the hot breathing in my left ear and the rubbing movement of the club between my thighs.

‘You damn bitch came here and organized a mischievous party! Where’s Harold?!’, one of the cops whispered in my ear and that made me shiver.

‘Harold? Was he there? I want to make a demand! Someone has stolen my socks!’

‘Really?! You’ve been seen talking to them and feeding them sushi and pasta and selling this to youngsters! Were is Harold?’, the man repeated.

‘And Andy’, remarked the other.

The multiple passages lead me somewhere. Why did they pay such an attention to my socks?! Oh damn! I guessed why as a ran through a huge supermarket and felt the cold slippery floor under my soles. Because I wore the socks for some time the bumper of that car didn’t ruin my feet. But why did the trailer pass through my body like I was a ghost?

Who am I? What did that party mean? Why everyone looked like they were forced to party, but really didn’t enjoy the usual way and practiced queer activity instead? Did I force them? Did I push them to that? But I never needed such an idiotic event in my entire life!

I’m Catherine, I do remember that. But is Catherine me?

I ran further from level to level. I knew I could return to somewhere before the day-and-night condition disappears and before another two important options expire. There was a doorway under the ceiling that I saw once before. I must get there in less than no time…

Suddenly I felt like my body lost it’s stable structure, it didn’t hurt, but felt like something’s wrong. In an eye wink I found myself in a different place. Al watched me as the voodoo Doll exhaled smoke in his hand.

‘You… You stopped me! Hey! That’s screwed up!’, I wailed on the top of my voice.

The girl that has stolen my sock stood on four doggy style face towards me. Obviously she was dead. The two familiar cops sat at the bedside with their rubber clubs in their hairy hands. I could see their silly faces with idiotic smiles. It seemed they saw something that they laughed at and that I couldn’t see.

‘What are you laughing at?!’, I questioned and towered over the dead body and them both.

‘The party! It was damn great! Ha-ha! And now it’s over!’

The next moment I found myself on the floor; the two rubber clubs were placed on my shoulders. I knew that I couldn’t escape without being beaten. My head was turned to the bed with the girl whose bloodstained and awkwardly twisted butt I could plainly see. The slippery floor was cool and dirty…

I started turning my head to the elder cop, but felt his hot erected cock touching my cheek…

‘Why?‘

My question stuck in my throat, because I suddenly realized that the dead girl was my teenage daughter and the cop was her father…

I screamed, the body fell and tumbled, my back hit the ceiling… actually I broke my spine and ribs.

It was still day-and-night. I could see it as I flew through the building until I reached the sky in which the moon and sun were both shining at the same time…

Control & Chaos

It was a chilling September night, the trees bent under the passionate, but cool autumn wind. The dark and heavy shadows danced and rushed in a big inner yard of a hospital sometimes revealing the high white concrete walls of the fence that was topped by barbed wire that (as it seemed to me) was on electric current.

There was no-one to be seen around, not a living person. The whole place was dismal, depressive and caused an inner tremor. No doubt there was nothing good here. Nevertheless, I suddenly found myself inside the main building among several busy people dressed in white. All of them looked like they where medics. The place and the very furnishings told of that.

I seemed to be one of them. As I hurried through narrow passages and corridors I could see vast chambers with ill people in them placed on beds. The whole atmosphere was very tense and heavy to all of my senses, it seemed that something total happened here, something that brought down tens or perhaps even hundreds of people to this sad and miserable condition. It was really a torment to watch their strange wounds and skin eczemas. The medics hurried around in their white uniform and now from time to time I stumbled over those who wore chemical protection suits…

I hided in one of the tech rooms, white as all the rest. I didn’t know what to do and what happened in real, but just to be sure that there’s no catastrophe I started to inspect all I could find in the room. Even though I weren’t a chemist I could easily determine the chemical reagents on the shelves, the human tissue samples in voluminous flasks were also recognizable. After a more detailed examination I found some kind of queer weapon that looked like a sub-machine gun, but was constructed of glass and transparent plastic. I was curious about the ammo for it, because in truth I understood very well by this time that I’m not in a usual regular hospital, I felt with my very spine that there’s something very dangerous inhere. And, oh my god, I was right! I found the ammo. It looked like a flask ferrule and each flask contained some queer turbid liquid and also fragments of human tissues. I looked for a label or something that could tell me the origin of it… There were no labels, but the drawings and printed circuits on the table gave me the necessary info. As far as I could figure out these flasks were filled with a very special extract of semen, stem cells and protein. It scared me to death, because the whole context told me that people here didn’t cure anyone. Probably they were experimenting on those ill ones in the chambers. By some means I knew for sure that all the components mixed in the ammo flasks were taken from dead people…

Suddenly the door flew open and a woman appeared. Fortunately, the gun wasn’t in my hands.

‘What are you doing here?! We’re all on duty tonight and tomorrow and on Friday and on all the weekend! You’ll be fired if you don’t work properly! We’re a family here, so don’t think you may rest your ass in a safe place while the other strive. Common, where’s your weekly report?!’

And before I could say a word she exclaimed with ill fury: ‘Hurry to the office! You have a date’.

I went out of the room without any idea where my date is to happen. After all, I saw some moments ago I changed my mind on the sick men and women there in the chambers. None of them was able to walk or even sit, they all looked fundamentally perishing and deadly ill, all their appearance expressed the last stage of cancer or perhaps cancer and syphilis. Nevertheless, the medics were busy doing something around them and… I suddenly understood what were they carrying out of the chambers! Plastic bags filled with diseased tissue of all kind: brain parts, skin, blood, bones cut from still alive people, female breast milk with mammary glands particles, men’s semen, small flasks with sweat, hair, dead-born infected children, nerves etc.

The further I went through the long corridor, the more I saw the better I learned that this is a totally criminal place that is infected all over. That was real scary! First I thought that there was some local corruption among the medics, but soon I understood that everything that happened here was fully legal and permissible. Then I suddenly realized that they may somehow detect that I’m an alien here and no doubt they would kill me. I watched carefully the medic’s faces trying to find any sign of humanity in them, but there was none. Moreover, they all looked like they were ill themselves or… like they were on drugs. Their skin had a strange tint, their eyes were shallow and empty, there was no expression, no evidence of life, their eye apples didn’t react to the changes of the ambient lighting.

I must call for help… I must call the cops. They kill people here and they torture them madly first!

All of a sudden I found myself ascending a stare case. I was almost about to enter a huge dark round room but stopped just before I could be seen and watched forward peeping out from behind the massive wooden banister. The room was furnished richly in the manner of an old Victorian mansion; the dark shadows almost covered the large bookshelves, the old oaken armchairs, the enormous round table in the middle that looked more like King Arthur’s Round Table than a regular one. The deep scarlet carpet on the floor was decorated with ancient images of strange children and naked men in queer and awkward poses. The only light in the room came from an old table-lamp.

I didn’t dare to come in because something happened in the room. A woman sat by the table and closely read some paper; an old man stood behind her armchair and watched her very carefully. The two were extremely serious. For a while, nothing happened in the solid and impenetrable silence. After a while the woman signed something on the same paper; the moment she put the pen on the table the old man cut her throat with a broad knife. I saw her blood gush out right on her dress. I also could plainly see the construction of her larynx in the wide wound. Her head swung backward, it seemed that the man broke her neck also…

I didn’t step in. Instead, I rushed away into the long corridors and ran until I was in the big inner yard once more…

My girlfriend was there. I could see her in the crowd between the tables, between the guests, the waiters… She was brushing the pavement with a broad broom and seemed unaware of what happened. As I pushed towards her I stumbled over the medics dressed in evening dresses. I recognized their faces, their impressions were exactly the same. There was an old piano on a little stage and an old woman played a horribly simple melody that sounded like a middle-age nursery rhyme. The sound of the piano was detuned and freak. Near the piano, huge glass flasks were placed and in them were human embryos. At a glance I once more knew that they were abortions. In some flasks were also cats. From time to time someone opened a flask, pulled out an embryo or a cat, shook it a little, examined it and closed it in again.

At last, I reached my girl and tried to explain her in a few words that this place is extremely dangerous and that she must leave immediately. She first didn’t believe me, but after I pointed at the flasks she threw the broom away and we both went to the fence to find a way of escape.

I was in the streets. It was still the dead of the night and everything around was as dark as it could be. I was all by myself. The miser street lights didn’t reveal all the landscape, yet I could see that there were lots of men in uniform around. They were armed and dressed in black all over. They were so black it was hard to determine them! On the other side of the street was a little park in which a couple stood and watched each other in the eye. The man wore no uniform and no helmet, but he was also dressed in black and had a black body.

‘Won’t you kiss me?’ he asked his woman… Their lips almost touched, but then a flame suddenly appeared from her mouth, the fire injected between his black lips. I could see it even trough his cheek! In a wink of an eye, he was all burned down and fell to her feet ashen and even more black than ever.

The armed men in uniform that I recognized as cops immediately ran over, surrounded his body and concealed it behind their bodies. Then they carried him away leaving the woman alone in the silent park between the dark silhouettes of the whispering trees.

There was a mystery in everything happening here. For the first time I saw these men I wanted to run to them and tell them about what happens in the hospital, but after I saw what happened to the body I hesitated and suddenly realized that in fact I yet didn’t meet at least one real human being, save my girlfriend. The medics were too weird and alien, the sick people were so terrifying and surreal that they scarcely could be taken for people at all; the armed men were weird also. They didn’t even speak! Not a word was said! Not even a command! Nothing! The street was silent and empty in less than five seconds…

The wind blew, the leaves brushed from nowhere to nowhere…

The moment I though about returning to the hospital I re-appeared there, but this time I was an easy target because I didn’t wear their white dresses. I was completely naked and bare-footed. The pavement was cold, the inner floor was slippery… I almost ran through the building. I passed the endless chambers with the almost rotten and completely mutilated people, I ran past the tech rooms and into the basement… The large thick central heating pipes hang over me close to the low gray ceiling. Some were thicker, the others were thin and long… Sometimes it seemed to me that I walked the ceiling instead of the floor.

After a quarrel with space around, I was sitting in a canteen. My only dress was a white bed sheet wrapped around my body. I sat at the table and watched the armed men (the cops) eat, drink, talk and debate all around me. Their unbelievably black uniform, and helmets, and weapons seemed dark as space in comparison with the extreme white color of the walls, furniture, and lamps. The queer thing about them was most of them didn’t put off their helmets. They ate their meals through their lowered visors and kept their weapons in their hands. The only man without the helmet sat before me right on the table and remained silent all the time. He was a very handsome blond with a charming smile and an open manly face.

I felt an enormous inclination to tell him everything, but I still couldn’t trust him, but I didn’t know for sure that he wasn’t one of this mad and weird freak company, I didn’t know was he a human at all! I was extremely scared by all that happened this night here, but I just couldn’t… It seemed that he was here especially for me, he looked ideal and a thousand percent real, but I couldn’t risk, because I was completely unprotected and naked before this men. If something happened I wouldn’t be able to fight them, I even wouldn’t be able to escape, the door was too far from the table, moreover I didn’t see at least a fork or a knife nearby in close reach.

I smiled at him, slowly stood up and went out of the canteen. I could feel his penetrating glance on my back. When I was half-way to the door I realized that I have lost my bed sheet…

Once more the long corridor, the low ceilings, the endless twists, the pipes above, and then suddenly a steel cupboard in the wall. I broke the door and peered in. There was the same uniform that I saw on the cops. Without hesitation, I pulled it all on, including the heavy helmet, took a machine gun from a stand on the opposite wall and went forward… The whole ammunition was so heavy I could scarcely breathe under its weight. But there was no other way… There was no help to come… Moreover, I felt very well that my every second may be the last one. These ‘people’ around may either infect me, or use me for their researches, or torture me, or do the same to my girlfriend that was somewhere nearby in the town. I knew it all almost for sure, but that was enough to make me feel the creepy cold claw of death itself close at my back…

That handsome cop in the canteen… I couldn’t forget his provoking smile and open face. I was hurt to tears just because he wouldn’t help me, just because he IS a fake. Yes, he really is, no doubt. He might be a bait… Damn! No-one who would help! No man that would save me…

Do you know how lonely it feels when you grasp the gun with your tired hands and move forward to kill?! Do you know what does it feel the moment you understand that you’re outnumbered, the moment you realize that you have no home in this town and no tomorrow to come because everyone here is sick and evil? The morning wouldn’t come, the sun wouldn’t rise, the corpse and the infection and the damn strange armed navy or cops wouldn’t suddenly become normal men, the embryos in the yard and the drowned cats wouldn’t just delete themselves from the face of reality, the old piano there would remain detuned, and the old woman would continue with her childishly horrible, simple and cheerful melody, as well as her deadly eyes would be the same satanic contrast to her mad smile…

At last, I found the stare case I was on once tonight. The room was there, I could feel it’s weird carpets lie above some twenty steps ahead. I could even feel the warm light of the old lamp through the oaken floor and through my heavy armor and helmet. I felt the itching on my sweating back. The gloves were too big, I could plainly feel it because it was very hard to grasp the machine gun properly… The visor went a little misted, I smelt the synthetic and listened to my heavy breath… Suddenly I though that I never used a gun and I don’t even know how to shoot. But the moment I though about it I found my finger on the trigger. It was easy to understand its construction, actually, it couldn’t be that difficult.

I slid into the room as silently as I could.

This time there was the old man sitting in a high armchair by the round table… I could see every wrinkle on his face, every cilium, every single gray hair in the lamp light. He held the paper in his hands…

I moved further into the room and held onto the shadows. Either he didn’t notice me, either he believed I was a guard change. I almost choked inside the damn armor, my head went dizzy, I was bathing in my own sweat, my heart sunk. I felt for the trigger. It was there.

The bookshelf touched my shoulder.

I stopped.

Everything stopped. Even time, even existence, even the light…

The moment I thought I fell asleep the old man took a knife and cut his throat. It happened astoundingly slowly and naturally like it was just a regular movement.

His head swung back, the blood flushed onto the table.

I recalled that I didn’t load my gun… The warm lamp light glittered on the fresh blood. The paper inched towards the edge…

The Deal

The Dark Man was just some five inches away from me to the right hand. We both leaned our backs against the wall behind. I had my hands crossed and nervously scratched at the bricks. Sometimes my fingertips touched each other and at that moment I felt divided.

‘I know you love to sleep by the highway, girl! Ha! You’re marvelous! I saw you drag your body for miles and then just plunge yourself into a bed somewhere among the parked cars or right under the feet of the passengers. That’s great! Tell me the secret. I wanna know. Tell…’

The Dark Man puffed large amounts of smoke as he spoke straight into my face. He wasn’t handsome at all, yet there was something frightening and extremely attracting in him. He was impudent and that charmed me. Stupid, isn’t it?!

He somehow knew that I was on the highways a couple of months ago and that scared me. How could he know it unless he saw me?!

He continued: ‘You’re a crazy girl, I think.’ He paused for another drag… ‘See, we’ve got your child here!’ He waved a hand onto a passage that opened just around the corner of the house.

I knew very well that I never had any children, but… the moment I saw the little 5 year old boy dressed in black I suddenly started to hesitate. Perhaps, I really went crazy and perhaps I just can’t recall my past?! I made a move forward…

‘Hey! Hey! Stay where you are!’, the Dark Man towered above me…

After I suffered an eternity watching him from below and began to hear the boys crying the Man suddenly vanished. There was nothing, but an empty street in the morning. A grey sky, the fog, the silence… The absolute silence! Nothing moved or even breathed. And then I found myself driving somewhere, to a place a never knew, to the Nowhere…

The City lay silent in the miserably heavy and silent dawn. Even the wind itself escaped my skin, I couldn’t feel anything, but emptiness and guilt. I felt like I was caught in a trap, but couldn’t find a clue to what happened… The more I thought it all over the more I believed that I really had a boy, that he’s my own son…

I drove through the streets, but no-one was there.

No Dark Man…

No boy dressed in black…

Somehow I appeared in a very high place from which I could see the whole City. It seemed dead and forgotten. But after I watched more fixedly I understood the whole plot.

There were men in black at the beginning of every street and there was a little boy dressed in black in each. Each Dark Man smoke a cigarette and each one of them stood in the same pose. It was a wonder I didn’t noticed such a huge company of people while I drove!

And then I saw the Women. They were coming from somewhere and stopped close to the Men. They talked and after that each Dark Man shown them their children (the Boys)… The thing that happened to me happened to them! Exactly!!!

But then I suddenly realized that these Women were just in need of something and these Men were selling them illusions that caused a very strong emotional effect. I noticed that some women passed through the same deal time after time, again and again… They liked it! And they payed them something for that… I couldn’t understand what until I suddenly saw their faces… After each ‘deal’ they became older and older, each woman shrunk, each face lost it’s liveliness and became more and more dumb and blank…

Was I the only one who didn’t pay for a deal?! I didn’t want to… It wasn’t enjoying, it was terrifying and idiotic!

Yet I knew for sure that somewhere far in the midst of this bedlam runs my little boy, and most of all I wanted him to find me…

The Scarlet Storm

The house was a silent mixture of dusk and creepy paranoia. The whole structure, the bleak ladders, the gray walls, the old ceilings, the heavy oaken banisters, all of this was a complete maze, a great big waiting for something to happen…

I slid silently upstairs and as I went I could notice several times that I was descending most of the time instead of ascending the stairs. The space I was in twitched and changed its gravity several times before I reached the place I was looking for. At last everything seemed stable and firm as I tip-toed barefooted into a large square room. Without hesitation I stepped gently in and the first object I caught sight of was a huge square bed on the right hand. There was scarcely any light in the place, looked like it was late dusk, yet I could plainly see that the bed was covered with a deep scarlet blanket and was really wider than a common double size. It was so big five or six people could easily share it without pushing anyone off. 

Right before me, some 40 or 50 feet ahead, was a large panoramic window with a glass door and behind that window a wide balcony spread to the length of the window. Through the clean window panes a light blue sky could be seen as well as the very top of a tree and the roof of another house. Somehow I knew that this room was somewhere very high.

The walls were empty. No shelves, no furniture, no paintings or photos, nothing but a line of chairs along the perimeter. There were men sitting in that chairs. All of them were silent, some sat cross-legged, some were in more decent poses. They almost didn’t move, but in their silence I felt their breaths and heartbeats, they were there – before me and around me sitting, watching me… The leftmost man held a newspaper and puffed large feeds of cigar smoke that floated unchanged through the dim and static atmosphere of the room like an endless and insoluble cloud of semen through a transparent water depth. After I tried to approach him he vanished very slowly like a subtle vision. One by one the men started to disappear around the perimeter of the room, all of them! And as they disappeared, they were something like fifty in all, I grew more and more astonished and unstable. I felt like I was loosing the very ground under my feet! All of them, adult strong and healthy men, just escaped my touch, my breath, my thought…

Save the only one. I noticed him after the others were gone. He sat in a chair on the balcony somewhere on the right and seemed to be sleeping. Suddenly I found myself somewhere on the large soft bed. I still watched the man on the balcony, but something started to happen. At first it was hard to guess what, but then I cast a glance to the left part of the enormous window and realized the panes were trembling. At the same time the top of the tree caught a fierce blast of wind, the roof of the house opposite started to pull and moan like of some unknown inner sickness or deadly disease. I heard a very low howl outside and also the terrifying grinding and growling inside of the house.

The man was quite…

The floor began to pulse, the walls tensed, the ceiling wailed and the groundwork somewhere deep below uttered a satanically blood-freezing sound like that of a very big steel bridge in a storm. The wind strengthened. The sky grew darker and the room turned into deep brown, grey and black. The bed’s color now was a dark scarlet just like vein blood.

The man never moved…

The sky went scarlet too and the moment it changed a gigantic cloud appeared on the left of the window, a cloud of red, brown and dusty gray. It was enormous and really amazing! Never could you see such a heavy cloud that wouldn’t be scattered into rugs by such a violent wind! The roof opposite slowly began to crawl off the house like a living creature. It struggled, clung to the fixture for a while, but not able to stand the titanic power of the storm erected vertically, then pulled off and flew directly into the window of the balcony. With the roof vast metal and wooden fragments burst through the fragile panes.

The man was still there sitting in his armchair…

A heavy rod came crushing into his head and squashed it like a bloody balloon or a wart before I could reach the balcony door. The whole house under me from the bottom to the top sighed and moaned, screeched and moved. The wind penetrated through the broken window and into the balcony with a high pitched wail scattering everything there and filling it with dust, garbage, metal fragments and flying glass. The room window moved. It seemed to be much thicker than the outside one, yet I saw it swell under the deadly pressure.

The storm was scarlet, the bed was bloody and the last man that could happen to be my savior as well as the saved was dead there, his body smudged and smeared all over the balcony or what remained of it…

 

The chance was given, the choice was taken whilst all the hell unleashed… 

The Big Sphere

Never ever in my journeys did I want to stay somewhere in a certain place, no not I. Some inner inclination always held me in a state of continuous movement, a strong will to leave behind the present for some more interesting and intriguing future brought me forward to the places I had never been to, to the unexpected, to the unbelievable. But not this time, because this one was a special one.

The world around seemed somewhat queer and at the moment I couldn’t figure out how and what on earth was wrong with it. I stood somewhere in the center of a very large open place, something that looked like a savanna. I could see very far, so it was no difficult to observe the high dim mountains almost on the horizon, the wild and enormous woods before them, the lake with a crystal and shimmery mirror of water, the morning mist and the drops of dew far away on the edge of a wild flower petal…

I stood without any movement, even without a breath. The view was so enchanting and mysterious at the same time I couldn’t stop watching and enjoying it. And then, all of a sudden I realized that I watch everything around me, on the front, rear, left, right, top and bottom, at the same time like I had some spherical ability to see. At first I thought I went mad, the fact of my new skill almost blew my brain out! But very soon I got used to this new and queer feeling though continued to feel somewhat nervous about the fact…

It was a really perfect, but very strange place. Everything around, all the colors where performed as though they were shown through a black lens… Save the living beings, such as a couple of white glimmering horses on the front, several white birds behind me and above, squirrels in the grass somewhere on the right and the foxes in the grass… All of them where a little shiny. They where enlightened from the inward, and that was really odd!

All the processes ran in different tempos and soon I understood that every single thing that happened here  was linked to a different speed of time. Not that the living beings moved with different speed, no. I saw different expressions of time like there were vast time zones all around that remained in touch with each other, changed, collapsed, renewed, progressed and formed altogether a gigantic and perfect process that in fact was almost beyond my understanding…

I felt like I wanted to stay here. Never did I see such a beautiful, charming and quite place in my whole life. But at the moment I thought of this an answer came. Something told me that all of this is a future and… in truth it is too early to be here. I didn’t want to believe this answer, but inside I knew it was the most pure and sincere answer I couldn’t be mistaken in. I tried to guess what was the plot of the place, what was the secret meaning of all this, I felt that something important is hidden close at hand, right under my fingertips.

Suddenly I realized that I’ll be here after my death! I weren’t frightened or scared. I didn’t tremble or try to run, no. I was quite in my inside and my heart never changed it’s rhythm, the beats went in the usual way, slowly and steadily… But I was surprised!

Is it so simple? Or… so difficult? I didn’t ask when… There was no need in any answer, because I knew for sure that time doesn’t really matter, I felt it with every fiber, with every pore, with every edge of my soul…