Corelli – album record!

Corelli – album record!.

Stolen Socks

We are all kinda mad here, all somewhat disordered, upset and fundamentally unguarded whilst driven into the desperate condition of self-centered freedom and unlimited exhibition of  our insides.

So it was this time.

I was given the pleasure to be a queer-looking fashion star in an absurd party that no-one really was going to enjoy. Several faces popped out from here and there on the stare cases, in the large apartments, in every room, toilet, bathroom, kitchen… Odd faces, drunken faces, unready faces, distorted make-up, men’s sweat,  dim lights, no music, no dancing people, no-one laughing.

Yet it was a party.

Everyone was striving to do what they wanted. No-one gave a damn about how do they look like or what do their actions appear to be. A girl ate like a swine and never wiped the sauce  from her lips and chin, four or five men stood smoking their long thick cigars in a narrow doorway, from time to time one of them experienced a good solid spit at the floor, a drunken mature woman tried to zip her stretch jeans properly right in front of several people licking wine from the carpet.

As I sat on a huge bed and tried to find at least one adequate face in this freak parade I noticed two young women sitting opposite, one of them attempted to pull off one of my socks. The next moment I noticed that the other one has already stolen the other sock and mocked at it feeding it with sushi. I jumped up in astonishment and suddenly discovered a cop in black uniform in the crowd that stared at me like I was an idol. My glance slid over him to discover that he masturbated fiercely and was about to cum…

‘And now it’s time to celebrate the everlasting power of insolence!’, someone said.

Everyone cheered… Lights flushed, music pumped the whole place, the walls shivered, I’ve lost my second sock (that damn girl stole it finally), barefooted I hopped through the astoundingly awkward people. I couldn’t just walk or run because that was too usual and inapplicable to the circumstances.

It was night and day at the same time. The stars and the moon in the sky told me that it was night, but the sunlight around me exclaimed the opposite. The streets were surreal and unbelievably beautiful, cars were all neat and bright clean, the roads creeped away from my sight like endless snakes into a wonderful mist of azure and milk white. The air felt crystal and ideal though somewhat thin…

‘…we just can’t erase the nature of our greasy embraces, because…’, said a man in a car as I passed by.

I couldn’t hear what was the whole phrase like, so I went straight over the road ignoring the traffic. A trailer hit me, but drove through me, I could feel the heat of it’s engine as it flew through my heart and lungs. A car like a Toyota came from the left and it’s bumper penetrated through my ankles. Yet it drove through without disturbing me.

As I reached the sidewalk I stumbled over two cops armed with rubber clubs and handguns. Without saying a word they seized me, grasped my wrists and waist so that I was immediately immobilized. The next moment I felt the hot breathing in my left ear and the rubbing movement of the club between my thighs.

‘You damn bitch came here and organized a mischievous party! Where’s Harold?!’, one of the cops whispered in my ear and that made me shiver.

‘Harold? Was he there? I want to make a demand! Someone has stolen my socks!’

‘Really?! You’ve been seen talking to them and feeding them sushi and pasta and selling this to youngsters! Were is Harold?’, the man repeated.

‘And Andy’, remarked the other.

The multiple passages lead me somewhere. Why did they pay such an attention to my socks?! Oh damn! I guessed why as a ran through a huge supermarket and felt the cold slippery floor under my soles. Because I wore the socks for some time the bumper of that car didn’t ruin my feet. But why did the trailer pass through my body like I was a ghost?

Who am I? What did that party mean? Why everyone looked like they were forced to party, but really didn’t enjoy the usual way and practiced queer activity instead? Did I force them? Did I push them to that? But I never needed such an idiotic event in my entire life!

I’m Catherine, I do remember that. But is Catherine me?

I ran further from level to level. I knew I could return to somewhere before the day-and-night condition disappears and before another two important options expire. There was a doorway under the ceiling that I saw once before. I must get there in less than no time…

Suddenly I felt like my body lost it’s stable structure, it didn’t hurt, but felt like something’s wrong. In an eye wink I found myself in a different place. Al watched me as the voodoo Doll exhaled smoke in his hand.

‘You… You stopped me! Hey! That’s screwed up!’, I wailed on the top of my voice.

The girl that has stolen my sock stood on four doggy style face towards me. Obviously she was dead. The two familiar cops sat at the bedside with their rubber clubs in their hairy hands. I could see their silly faces with idiotic smiles. It seemed they saw something that they laughed at and that I couldn’t see.

‘What are you laughing at?!’, I questioned and towered over the dead body and them both.

‘The party! It was damn great! Ha-ha! And now it’s over!’

The next moment I found myself on the floor; the two rubber clubs were placed on my shoulders. I knew that I couldn’t escape without being beaten. My head was turned to the bed with the girl whose bloodstained and awkwardly twisted butt I could plainly see. The slippery floor was cool and dirty…

I started turning my head to the elder cop, but felt his hot erected cock touching my cheek…

‘Why?‘

My question stuck in my throat, because I suddenly realized that the dead girl was my teenage daughter and the cop was her father…

I screamed, the body fell and tumbled, my back hit the ceiling… actually I broke my spine and ribs.

It was still day-and-night. I could see it as I flew through the building until I reached the sky in which the moon and sun were both shining at the same time…

Control & Chaos

It was a chilling September night, the trees bent under the passionate, but cool autumn wind. The dark and heavy shadows danced and rushed in a big inner yard of a hospital sometimes revealing the high white concrete walls of the fence that was topped by barbed wire that (as it seemed to me) was on electric current.

There was no-one to be seen around, not a living person. The whole place was dismal, depressive and caused an inner tremor. No doubt there was nothing good here. Nevertheless, I suddenly found myself inside the main building among several busy people dressed in white. All of them looked like they where medics. The place and the very furnishings told of that.

I seemed to be one of them. As I hurried through narrow passages and corridors I could see vast chambers with ill people in them placed on beds. The whole atmosphere was very tense and heavy to all of my senses, it seemed that something total happened here, something that brought down tens or perhaps even hundreds of people to this sad and miserable condition. It was really a torment to watch their strange wounds and skin eczemas. The medics hurried around in their white uniform and now from time to time I stumbled over those who wore chemical protection suits…

I hided in one of the tech rooms, white as all the rest. I didn’t know what to do and what happened in real, but just to be sure that there’s no catastrophe I started to inspect all I could find in the room. Even though I weren’t a chemist I could easily determine the chemical reagents on the shelves, the human tissue samples in voluminous flasks were also recognizable. After a more detailed examination I found some kind of queer weapon that looked like a sub-machine gun, but was constructed of glass and transparent plastic. I was curious about the ammo for it, because in truth I understood very well by this time that I’m not in a usual regular hospital, I felt with my very spine that there’s something very dangerous inhere. And, oh my god, I was right! I found the ammo. It looked like a flask ferrule and each flask contained some queer turbid liquid and also fragments of human tissues. I looked for a label or something that could tell me the origin of it… There were no labels, but the drawings and printed circuits on the table gave me the necessary info. As far as I could figure out these flasks were filled with a very special extract of semen, stem cells and protein. It scared me to death, because the whole context told me that people here didn’t cure anyone. Probably they were experimenting on those ill ones in the chambers. By some means I knew for sure that all the components mixed in the ammo flasks were taken from dead people…

Suddenly the door flew open and a woman appeared. Fortunately, the gun wasn’t in my hands.

‘What are you doing here?! We’re all on duty tonight and tomorrow and on Friday and on all the weekend! You’ll be fired if you don’t work properly! We’re a family here, so don’t think you may rest your ass in a safe place while the other strive. Common, where’s your weekly report?!’

And before I could say a word she exclaimed with ill fury: ‘Hurry to the office! You have a date’.

I went out of the room without any idea where my date is to happen. After all, I saw some moments ago I changed my mind on the sick men and women there in the chambers. None of them was able to walk or even sit, they all looked fundamentally perishing and deadly ill, all their appearance expressed the last stage of cancer or perhaps cancer and syphilis. Nevertheless, the medics were busy doing something around them and… I suddenly understood what were they carrying out of the chambers! Plastic bags filled with diseased tissue of all kind: brain parts, skin, blood, bones cut from still alive people, female breast milk with mammary glands particles, men’s semen, small flasks with sweat, hair, dead-born infected children, nerves etc.

The further I went through the long corridor, the more I saw the better I learned that this is a totally criminal place that is infected all over. That was real scary! First I thought that there was some local corruption among the medics, but soon I understood that everything that happened here was fully legal and permissible. Then I suddenly realized that they may somehow detect that I’m an alien here and no doubt they would kill me. I watched carefully the medic’s faces trying to find any sign of humanity in them, but there was none. Moreover, they all looked like they were ill themselves or… like they were on drugs. Their skin had a strange tint, their eyes were shallow and empty, there was no expression, no evidence of life, their eye apples didn’t react to the changes of the ambient lighting.

I must call for help… I must call the cops. They kill people here and they torture them madly first!

All of a sudden I found myself ascending a stare case. I was almost about to enter a huge dark round room but stopped just before I could be seen and watched forward peeping out from behind the massive wooden banister. The room was furnished richly in the manner of an old Victorian mansion; the dark shadows almost covered the large bookshelves, the old oaken armchairs, the enormous round table in the middle that looked more like King Arthur’s Round Table than a regular one. The deep scarlet carpet on the floor was decorated with ancient images of strange children and naked men in queer and awkward poses. The only light in the room came from an old table-lamp.

I didn’t dare to come in because something happened in the room. A woman sat by the table and closely read some paper; an old man stood behind her armchair and watched her very carefully. The two were extremely serious. For a while, nothing happened in the solid and impenetrable silence. After a while the woman signed something on the same paper; the moment she put the pen on the table the old man cut her throat with a broad knife. I saw her blood gush out right on her dress. I also could plainly see the construction of her larynx in the wide wound. Her head swung backward, it seemed that the man broke her neck also…

I didn’t step in. Instead, I rushed away into the long corridors and ran until I was in the big inner yard once more…

My girlfriend was there. I could see her in the crowd between the tables, between the guests, the waiters… She was brushing the pavement with a broad broom and seemed unaware of what happened. As I pushed towards her I stumbled over the medics dressed in evening dresses. I recognized their faces, their impressions were exactly the same. There was an old piano on a little stage and an old woman played a horribly simple melody that sounded like a middle-age nursery rhyme. The sound of the piano was detuned and freak. Near the piano, huge glass flasks were placed and in them were human embryos. At a glance I once more knew that they were abortions. In some flasks were also cats. From time to time someone opened a flask, pulled out an embryo or a cat, shook it a little, examined it and closed it in again.

At last, I reached my girl and tried to explain her in a few words that this place is extremely dangerous and that she must leave immediately. She first didn’t believe me, but after I pointed at the flasks she threw the broom away and we both went to the fence to find a way of escape.

I was in the streets. It was still the dead of the night and everything around was as dark as it could be. I was all by myself. The miser street lights didn’t reveal all the landscape, yet I could see that there were lots of men in uniform around. They were armed and dressed in black all over. They were so black it was hard to determine them! On the other side of the street was a little park in which a couple stood and watched each other in the eye. The man wore no uniform and no helmet, but he was also dressed in black and had a black body.

‘Won’t you kiss me?’ he asked his woman… Their lips almost touched, but then a flame suddenly appeared from her mouth, the fire injected between his black lips. I could see it even trough his cheek! In a wink of an eye, he was all burned down and fell to her feet ashen and even more black than ever.

The armed men in uniform that I recognized as cops immediately ran over, surrounded his body and concealed it behind their bodies. Then they carried him away leaving the woman alone in the silent park between the dark silhouettes of the whispering trees.

There was a mystery in everything happening here. For the first time I saw these men I wanted to run to them and tell them about what happens in the hospital, but after I saw what happened to the body I hesitated and suddenly realized that in fact I yet didn’t meet at least one real human being, save my girlfriend. The medics were too weird and alien, the sick people were so terrifying and surreal that they scarcely could be taken for people at all; the armed men were weird also. They didn’t even speak! Not a word was said! Not even a command! Nothing! The street was silent and empty in less than five seconds…

The wind blew, the leaves brushed from nowhere to nowhere…

The moment I though about returning to the hospital I re-appeared there, but this time I was an easy target because I didn’t wear their white dresses. I was completely naked and bare-footed. The pavement was cold, the inner floor was slippery… I almost ran through the building. I passed the endless chambers with the almost rotten and completely mutilated people, I ran past the tech rooms and into the basement… The large thick central heating pipes hang over me close to the low gray ceiling. Some were thicker, the others were thin and long… Sometimes it seemed to me that I walked the ceiling instead of the floor.

After a quarrel with space around, I was sitting in a canteen. My only dress was a white bed sheet wrapped around my body. I sat at the table and watched the armed men (the cops) eat, drink, talk and debate all around me. Their unbelievably black uniform, and helmets, and weapons seemed dark as space in comparison with the extreme white color of the walls, furniture, and lamps. The queer thing about them was most of them didn’t put off their helmets. They ate their meals through their lowered visors and kept their weapons in their hands. The only man without the helmet sat before me right on the table and remained silent all the time. He was a very handsome blond with a charming smile and an open manly face.

I felt an enormous inclination to tell him everything, but I still couldn’t trust him, but I didn’t know for sure that he wasn’t one of this mad and weird freak company, I didn’t know was he a human at all! I was extremely scared by all that happened this night here, but I just couldn’t… It seemed that he was here especially for me, he looked ideal and a thousand percent real, but I couldn’t risk, because I was completely unprotected and naked before this men. If something happened I wouldn’t be able to fight them, I even wouldn’t be able to escape, the door was too far from the table, moreover I didn’t see at least a fork or a knife nearby in close reach.

I smiled at him, slowly stood up and went out of the canteen. I could feel his penetrating glance on my back. When I was half-way to the door I realized that I have lost my bed sheet…

Once more the long corridor, the low ceilings, the endless twists, the pipes above, and then suddenly a steel cupboard in the wall. I broke the door and peered in. There was the same uniform that I saw on the cops. Without hesitation, I pulled it all on, including the heavy helmet, took a machine gun from a stand on the opposite wall and went forward… The whole ammunition was so heavy I could scarcely breathe under its weight. But there was no other way… There was no help to come… Moreover, I felt very well that my every second may be the last one. These ‘people’ around may either infect me, or use me for their researches, or torture me, or do the same to my girlfriend that was somewhere nearby in the town. I knew it all almost for sure, but that was enough to make me feel the creepy cold claw of death itself close at my back…

That handsome cop in the canteen… I couldn’t forget his provoking smile and open face. I was hurt to tears just because he wouldn’t help me, just because he IS a fake. Yes, he really is, no doubt. He might be a bait… Damn! No-one who would help! No man that would save me…

Do you know how lonely it feels when you grasp the gun with your tired hands and move forward to kill?! Do you know what does it feel the moment you understand that you’re outnumbered, the moment you realize that you have no home in this town and no tomorrow to come because everyone here is sick and evil? The morning wouldn’t come, the sun wouldn’t rise, the corpse and the infection and the damn strange armed navy or cops wouldn’t suddenly become normal men, the embryos in the yard and the drowned cats wouldn’t just delete themselves from the face of reality, the old piano there would remain detuned, and the old woman would continue with her childishly horrible, simple and cheerful melody, as well as her deadly eyes would be the same satanic contrast to her mad smile…

At last, I found the stare case I was on once tonight. The room was there, I could feel it’s weird carpets lie above some twenty steps ahead. I could even feel the warm light of the old lamp through the oaken floor and through my heavy armor and helmet. I felt the itching on my sweating back. The gloves were too big, I could plainly feel it because it was very hard to grasp the machine gun properly… The visor went a little misted, I smelt the synthetic and listened to my heavy breath… Suddenly I though that I never used a gun and I don’t even know how to shoot. But the moment I though about it I found my finger on the trigger. It was easy to understand its construction, actually, it couldn’t be that difficult.

I slid into the room as silently as I could.

This time there was the old man sitting in a high armchair by the round table… I could see every wrinkle on his face, every cilium, every single gray hair in the lamp light. He held the paper in his hands…

I moved further into the room and held onto the shadows. Either he didn’t notice me, either he believed I was a guard change. I almost choked inside the damn armor, my head went dizzy, I was bathing in my own sweat, my heart sunk. I felt for the trigger. It was there.

The bookshelf touched my shoulder.

I stopped.

Everything stopped. Even time, even existence, even the light…

The moment I thought I fell asleep the old man took a knife and cut his throat. It happened astoundingly slowly and naturally like it was just a regular movement.

His head swung back, the blood flushed onto the table.

I recalled that I didn’t load my gun… The warm lamp light glittered on the fresh blood. The paper inched towards the edge…

The Deal

The Dark Man was just some five inches away from me to the right hand. We both leaned our backs against the wall behind. I had my hands crossed and nervously scratched at the bricks. Sometimes my fingertips touched each other and at that moment I felt divided.

‘I know you love to sleep by the highway, girl! Ha! You’re marvelous! I saw you drag your body for miles and then just plunge yourself into a bed somewhere among the parked cars or right under the feet of the passengers. That’s great! Tell me the secret. I wanna know. Tell…’

The Dark Man puffed large amounts of smoke as he spoke straight into my face. He wasn’t handsome at all, yet there was something frightening and extremely attracting in him. He was impudent and that charmed me. Stupid, isn’t it?!

He somehow knew that I was on the highways a couple of months ago and that scared me. How could he know it unless he saw me?!

He continued: ‘You’re a crazy girl, I think.’ He paused for another drag… ‘See, we’ve got your child here!’ He waved a hand onto a passage that opened just around the corner of the house.

I knew very well that I never had any children, but… the moment I saw the little 5 year old boy dressed in black I suddenly started to hesitate. Perhaps, I really went crazy and perhaps I just can’t recall my past?! I made a move forward…

‘Hey! Hey! Stay where you are!’, the Dark Man towered above me…

After I suffered an eternity watching him from below and began to hear the boys crying the Man suddenly vanished. There was nothing, but an empty street in the morning. A grey sky, the fog, the silence… The absolute silence! Nothing moved or even breathed. And then I found myself driving somewhere, to a place a never knew, to the Nowhere…

The City lay silent in the miserably heavy and silent dawn. Even the wind itself escaped my skin, I couldn’t feel anything, but emptiness and guilt. I felt like I was caught in a trap, but couldn’t find a clue to what happened… The more I thought it all over the more I believed that I really had a boy, that he’s my own son…

I drove through the streets, but no-one was there.

No Dark Man…

No boy dressed in black…

Somehow I appeared in a very high place from which I could see the whole City. It seemed dead and forgotten. But after I watched more fixedly I understood the whole plot.

There were men in black at the beginning of every street and there was a little boy dressed in black in each. Each Dark Man smoke a cigarette and each one of them stood in the same pose. It was a wonder I didn’t noticed such a huge company of people while I drove!

And then I saw the Women. They were coming from somewhere and stopped close to the Men. They talked and after that each Dark Man shown them their children (the Boys)… The thing that happened to me happened to them! Exactly!!!

But then I suddenly realized that these Women were just in need of something and these Men were selling them illusions that caused a very strong emotional effect. I noticed that some women passed through the same deal time after time, again and again… They liked it! And they payed them something for that… I couldn’t understand what until I suddenly saw their faces… After each ‘deal’ they became older and older, each woman shrunk, each face lost it’s liveliness and became more and more dumb and blank…

Was I the only one who didn’t pay for a deal?! I didn’t want to… It wasn’t enjoying, it was terrifying and idiotic!

Yet I knew for sure that somewhere far in the midst of this bedlam runs my little boy, and most of all I wanted him to find me…

The Scarlet Storm

The house was a silent mixture of dusk and creepy paranoia. The whole structure, the bleak ladders, the gray walls, the old ceilings, the heavy oaken banisters, all of this was a complete maze, a great big waiting for something to happen…

I slid silently upstairs and as I went I could notice several times that I was descending most of the time instead of ascending the stairs. The space I was in twitched and changed its gravity several times before I reached the place I was looking for. At last everything seemed stable and firm as I tip-toed barefooted into a large square room. Without hesitation I stepped gently in and the first object I caught sight of was a huge square bed on the right hand. There was scarcely any light in the place, looked like it was late dusk, yet I could plainly see that the bed was covered with a deep scarlet blanket and was really wider than a common double size. It was so big five or six people could easily share it without pushing anyone off. 

Right before me, some 40 or 50 feet ahead, was a large panoramic window with a glass door and behind that window a wide balcony spread to the length of the window. Through the clean window panes a light blue sky could be seen as well as the very top of a tree and the roof of another house. Somehow I knew that this room was somewhere very high.

The walls were empty. No shelves, no furniture, no paintings or photos, nothing but a line of chairs along the perimeter. There were men sitting in that chairs. All of them were silent, some sat cross-legged, some were in more decent poses. They almost didn’t move, but in their silence I felt their breaths and heartbeats, they were there – before me and around me sitting, watching me… The leftmost man held a newspaper and puffed large feeds of cigar smoke that floated unchanged through the dim and static atmosphere of the room like an endless and insoluble cloud of semen through a transparent water depth. After I tried to approach him he vanished very slowly like a subtle vision. One by one the men started to disappear around the perimeter of the room, all of them! And as they disappeared, they were something like fifty in all, I grew more and more astonished and unstable. I felt like I was loosing the very ground under my feet! All of them, adult strong and healthy men, just escaped my touch, my breath, my thought…

Save the only one. I noticed him after the others were gone. He sat in a chair on the balcony somewhere on the right and seemed to be sleeping. Suddenly I found myself somewhere on the large soft bed. I still watched the man on the balcony, but something started to happen. At first it was hard to guess what, but then I cast a glance to the left part of the enormous window and realized the panes were trembling. At the same time the top of the tree caught a fierce blast of wind, the roof of the house opposite started to pull and moan like of some unknown inner sickness or deadly disease. I heard a very low howl outside and also the terrifying grinding and growling inside of the house.

The man was quite…

The floor began to pulse, the walls tensed, the ceiling wailed and the groundwork somewhere deep below uttered a satanically blood-freezing sound like that of a very big steel bridge in a storm. The wind strengthened. The sky grew darker and the room turned into deep brown, grey and black. The bed’s color now was a dark scarlet just like vein blood.

The man never moved…

The sky went scarlet too and the moment it changed a gigantic cloud appeared on the left of the window, a cloud of red, brown and dusty gray. It was enormous and really amazing! Never could you see such a heavy cloud that wouldn’t be scattered into rugs by such a violent wind! The roof opposite slowly began to crawl off the house like a living creature. It struggled, clung to the fixture for a while, but not able to stand the titanic power of the storm erected vertically, then pulled off and flew directly into the window of the balcony. With the roof vast metal and wooden fragments burst through the fragile panes.

The man was still there sitting in his armchair…

A heavy rod came crushing into his head and squashed it like a bloody balloon or a wart before I could reach the balcony door. The whole house under me from the bottom to the top sighed and moaned, screeched and moved. The wind penetrated through the broken window and into the balcony with a high pitched wail scattering everything there and filling it with dust, garbage, metal fragments and flying glass. The room window moved. It seemed to be much thicker than the outside one, yet I saw it swell under the deadly pressure.

The storm was scarlet, the bed was bloody and the last man that could happen to be my savior as well as the saved was dead there, his body smudged and smeared all over the balcony or what remained of it…

 

The chance was given, the choice was taken whilst all the hell unleashed… 

The Big Sphere

Never ever in my journeys did I want to stay somewhere in a certain place, no not I. Some inner inclination always held me in a state of continuous movement, a strong will to leave behind the present for some more interesting and intriguing future brought me forward to the places I had never been to, to the unexpected, to the unbelievable. But not this time, because this one was a special one.

The world around seemed somewhat queer and at the moment I couldn’t figure out how and what on earth was wrong with it. I stood somewhere in the center of a very large open place, something that looked like a savanna. I could see very far, so it was no difficult to observe the high dim mountains almost on the horizon, the wild and enormous woods before them, the lake with a crystal and shimmery mirror of water, the morning mist and the drops of dew far away on the edge of a wild flower petal…

I stood without any movement, even without a breath. The view was so enchanting and mysterious at the same time I couldn’t stop watching and enjoying it. And then, all of a sudden I realized that I watch everything around me, on the front, rear, left, right, top and bottom, at the same time like I had some spherical ability to see. At first I thought I went mad, the fact of my new skill almost blew my brain out! But very soon I got used to this new and queer feeling though continued to feel somewhat nervous about the fact…

It was a really perfect, but very strange place. Everything around, all the colors where performed as though they were shown through a black lens… Save the living beings, such as a couple of white glimmering horses on the front, several white birds behind me and above, squirrels in the grass somewhere on the right and the foxes in the grass… All of them where a little shiny. They where enlightened from the inward, and that was really odd!

All the processes ran in different tempos and soon I understood that every single thing that happened here  was linked to a different speed of time. Not that the living beings moved with different speed, no. I saw different expressions of time like there were vast time zones all around that remained in touch with each other, changed, collapsed, renewed, progressed and formed altogether a gigantic and perfect process that in fact was almost beyond my understanding…

I felt like I wanted to stay here. Never did I see such a beautiful, charming and quite place in my whole life. But at the moment I thought of this an answer came. Something told me that all of this is a future and… in truth it is too early to be here. I didn’t want to believe this answer, but inside I knew it was the most pure and sincere answer I couldn’t be mistaken in. I tried to guess what was the plot of the place, what was the secret meaning of all this, I felt that something important is hidden close at hand, right under my fingertips.

Suddenly I realized that I’ll be here after my death! I weren’t frightened or scared. I didn’t tremble or try to run, no. I was quite in my inside and my heart never changed it’s rhythm, the beats went in the usual way, slowly and steadily… But I was surprised!

Is it so simple? Or… so difficult? I didn’t ask when… There was no need in any answer, because I knew for sure that time doesn’t really matter, I felt it with every fiber, with every pore, with every edge of my soul…